the end is near

Death. I think about it a lot. we should all think about it a lot, in my opinion. Not because it will make it any easier to deal with the death of a loved one. Not because we can escape the inevitable, but because we only have this one life, and it will end.

Everyone around you will die. Everyone you know, everyone you see on the street, every person you ever kissed, you ever hated, you ever worked with. Either you will know and live through their death, or you'll be dead yourself. They will expire. into thin air. their essence, their words, their dreams, their smile. gone. only a tiny fraction will remain, captured in photographs, in memories, in dreams.

Impermanance. The foundation of life. It makes everything seem so silly. Resentment, cruelty, betrayal, melodrama, anxiety, the games we play. all for nothing. we'll be gone soon.

So how magical, this world. this world of temporary beings. It's a wonder we can get anything done at all, us fragile humans with our momentary lives. Our breathing in and out. We live each day oblivious to our constant vulnerability. So often we forget, we hesitate, we refrain from loving and experiencing and expressing gratitude for all the things we are fortunate enough to hold even for a minute. The mundane things. The terrible things. The miraculous things.

Let's not rush it. Let's not waste it. Here we are for now. Let's drop it, and live and enjoy each other.

I really love you friends. We are so lucky, words cannot describe.

some days...

I remember the feeling of having such a great friend.

I fill with anger knowing you're no longer my friend. and it's your fault. and I can't forgive you.

I wish I could forgive you.

I wish you were still my friend.

I wish we could still laugh until we cried, I wish we could still talk about anything at length.

I wish I could know what you're writing now. what you're reading.

I want to talk to you, and then the rage comes again. You've made it impossible.

I remember you...

and some days... I forget. and then I really feel sad. Knowing how far away I am from that friendship. I'm light years away.

I have amazing friends. but you knew me best. you just did.

too sixy for my pants

Goodbye for now size 4