Personal Statement 2

I deleted a previous post. and I have some thoughts about it.

I realize the content of my "personal statement" was intensely personal and revealed some things about my brother's life he wishes to keep private and out of the internet world. I understand. I respect that.

It may happen that because of my loud mouth my brother might find himself one day in a less than desirable situation with someone he has just met who might presume things about him based on his past. Yes, that would be hard and less than ideal. However, hard and less than ideal is an inescapable part of life. Tough luck. The way I deal with things is to talk about them and get them out in the open. There are innumerable consequences to our actions. They're not all fair. Maybe this is one of them. But no, someone messed up and hurt a bunch of people, and I'm supposed to shut up about it. I'm supposed to heal and process in silence, and pretend like it's not still affecting me right now.

There's an argument (that I respect) that it's "not my place" to tell someone else's life struggles. I guess this is true, although it implies that it is indeed someone's place to tell. Presumably that someone is my brother, right? His account of his life is his right to share or to keep private. Is his account the best account? the right account? the only account that matters? the only account with the power to change society?

This brings me to my point, and the dire condition of human existence right now, which concerns just how oblivious we are of the effects of our actions on other people. My life is not solely made up of my choices, my actions, my failures. In fact lately, the quality of my life has been directly affected by someone's actions over which I have no control. I have no remedy. I have no defense. Would I have moved back to Indy if it were not for someone else's choices? Would I cry myself to sleep and find myself forgetting things I used to remember if not for someone else's choices?

I want to fly a banner that reads: YOUR ACTIONS AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE. They don't just make them cry or worry, or brush their shoulder for a second, fading into the past. Your actions and choices directly affect in a deep and experiential way other people's lives. No, I can't possibly know all the ways, but I can try to be more aware, and just because I wasn't the person who made the choices, or the parent of the person, doesn't mean I don't have a real experience and a story to tell. Sometimes, your actions do indeed become someone else's truth, someone else's story, someone else's life.

How will social stigmas ever dissolve if we do not tell our stories? How will humanity ever achieve something closer to open-mindedness, or true compassion?

That's all I have to say for now. I deleted the post.