Regret.

To punish, to thrash, bolt, die, escape, make demands

Choices pooled in your hands, now you're enslaved by commands

How I have failed you. For years, I drew my sword and collided

Ever shackled to the past, to anger young and misguided

I think of you now, and I just miss my little brother

It's amazing how deep, the ways we damage each other.

.....

Every time I tell someone new about it, no matter how I say it, I have another breakdown. They're getting smaller. I guess I usually put it out of my mind.

Fear is Key

The thing you fear the most is the thing you need to do.